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domingo, 5 de abril de 2015

My thoughts about having a kid with Asperger's or Autism...

I do not really know how to start this... The truth is even though I had read about these conditions, and even had a student in my class with Autism I quite did not understand what it meant... Until now.
So it started when my son was around three... then is when the repetitive games started.  He would literally sit down in a corner for hours  and rock his cars back and forth...Well, that did not really bother me as every child is unique you know so I just kinda let if flow.  Soon after that he stopped talking. He went from trying to communicate to just not caring about it.  Not even eye contact.  Then the temper tantrums began.  Bad ones.  Yelling, kicking, scratching, head banging... And I was thinking what is going on? But as I had a history of being a bad tempered child I honestly thought I was going  through what my own mom went through while raising me.  Yep... Karma can be a bitch and I thought it was this.  But I could not be more wrong.
I got my wake up call a few weeks ago.  It doesnt really matter how it happened really, the truth is it was not the first time, but this time I had to pay attention. There are bad tempered kids, and  these ones usually react to authority well shown. And there are Autistic kids, who do not understand why they have to obey a rule that makes no sense to them.  Just because I say no is not an answer they will accept and for them, its disrespectful and they hurt.  You have to understand that they know more than what you think they do and most of them, if not all, are more mature than any kid their age (some of them are even more mature than what you are) And they see you in front of them  as a parent but they feel you are not understanding what they are feeling or going through in that precise moment.  So they shut off the world and do what they know to calm themselves down... A variety of behaviours but all of them just not logical or understandable under our logic and that is because, we do not think as they do. We do not see the world as they do.  Imagine yourself living in a world full of individuals who just do not understand you at all. A world full of rules and things you have to do because you have to and most of them make no sense. A world where you are just too bright and yet misunderstood. A world full of rules you have to obey because someone else said you have to.  I know now.  I would shut myself off.  I would stop talking.  I would rather live in my own world as the outside one just does not make sense.  And this is why we need to be understanding and patient.  We need to start looking at the bright side and see them as an opportunity to change the perception of the perfect society.  Its not about all of us being the same, but embrace the ones who are different and give them the chance to adapt. No more labels. No more pitty.  They are just different.  And that is not bad at all!!!

viernes, 6 de septiembre de 2013

Sabía que te amaba antes de conocerte...
Y no me malinterpreten...
Cuantos en verdad lo han sabido?
Suena a cuento de hada esto del amor a primera vista porque... lo es.
Nadie te va a amar de primas a primeras a menos que... de verdad te amen...
Nadie te va a amar a menos que... haya un beneficio para ellos... triste y obscura verdad... Todos esperan que los ames a cambio de... amor... sexo... interes... triste... en verdad... :(... pero... eres  parte de esta consumista sociedad en donde si no vales comercialmente algo pues... no vales nada...

martes, 27 de agosto de 2013

To live our love story...

Easier than just listening to a salsa song...
Can we just fly away from social rules? Can we just fly away from everyone who is against us? Can we just fly away as free doves against the wind? Can we just live our love story? and love each other until we run outta breath? Can we just dream awake about a world without races, colors or regrets?
No.
we cannot.
But we can try... We can fight for it...
It will not be easy... It will be frustrating and painful.
But... Can you think about a better love story than this? Something better than two different people who met in the worst circumstances and yet... they decided to give themselves a chance?
Not a Romeo and a Juliet... Just a couple  from different races and parts of the world who decided to fight for a chance to be happy... Against all odds... Just fighting for what they believed in... and then... everything became possible... everything!!!

Outside myself...

How many times have we wanted to just... be someone else or somewhere else?
And we cannot... Unless we are declared insane... and even then... we will have to think about the consequences... it actually sucks ass...
Because we have laces tieing us to this material world.
We have family...
We have steps following us outside ourselves...
 I wish this was way easier than just walking away.}



Without love you cannot make yourself happy...

So... here I am again... writing about another song... but the truth is  I believe music is the universal language as it will always convey feelings and this time... its about an argentino group called La Ley... The law...
and they say... without pain you cannot make yourself happy... without love... please do not suffer anymore...
and I got to see... Just the one who has loved for real knows what pain is... Just the one who is willing to sacrifice everything for their loved ones knows how to love for real means... and if you are not willing to sacrifice everything you have... then... What you feel  is one of these ones.
1. If you like the way they look... It is lust.
2,  If it is the way they look like and the way they are when around you... they like you...but...
3.  If it is they way they look, the way they treat you and the way they are when around you...
you are screwed... YOU ARE IN LOVE!!!
and then... Do not suffer anymore... Because without pain you cannot make yourself happy... and without love... you cannot suffer any more...

lunes, 26 de agosto de 2013

The favor from Loneliness

I heard a song today not so long ago... I am a fan of music so I am always listening to it. I truly believe there is a song for every state you are in, for every situation. So Im a fan of Youtube and their music videos (even the silly ones made by fans dedicated to that special person) and I found this one called The favor from loneliness. In a few words it is about a person asking loneliness to take their loved one to a room and make them feel it.  To make them realize they feel lonely because they do not have the one they love with them.  To make them realize love is a true and unique gift you do not get in every corner... and I thought wow!! This talented songwriter has actually loved for real! Because you do not really know what to be lonely is until you love for real.  And... not until you realize you love them but you are not loved back... And this is not applied just to a romantic partner or something like that as sometimes, you have family you deeply love but you are not loved back the way you should...
Yes it is my case. I want this person to miss me and realize how much I love her. I want her to see how much wrong she has done to me and see that if she came to me with true intentions I would forgive... I want her to see that I am willing to put everything in the past as long as she demonstrates she truly loves me but... I know this will never happen... Sometimes envy is way too powerful to let people see through... Sometimes The Lord sends you not the people you want but the people you need to become the person you need to be.
a mother and a daughter who drifted apart... or a son and a father... siblings... or a couple who broke up... It does not matter, it hurts. It hurts to love and not being loved back. It hurts to be away when you thought you were gonna be together or stay close the rest of your lives.  It hurts to know you would do everything for them but they would not for you... or they would even hurt you or the ones you love if they could... So after I heard this song I started to feel a little better... Because I got to understand true love is about giving and I gave... I did not get what I should have gotten but... I did my part. And that should be enough for me.

sábado, 24 de agosto de 2013

Living with an American




Living with an American
Well… I decided to write this time about how it is for me ( a Guatemalan teacher) to live with a gringo. I guess its because a lot of my friends have asked me the same question, and every time they do this they have this look in their eyes as if we were going to discuss one of the most intriguing and forbidden topics of the era.  Although it seems silly to me ( as living with a gringo is no different from living with a European or Chinese if you ask me, after all, a person is a person) for some people here in my country it is a serious issue, as they honestly think the Imperialists are here to invade and conquer us one more time!!
Anyways, it’s wonderful.  And it does not have to do with the fact he is from the United States, It is because of the way he is. He is polite, tolerant, sharing, giving, caring… He likes long walks and talks. He´s very observant and attentive, not just with me but with our kids.  A family guy. And this has nothing to do with where he is from but with the values he was raised with. Once I read that a man who treats his wife as a princess has been raised by a queen. I know now this it totally accurate. My mother in law has done such a wonderful job raising this man that my life will never be long enough for me to thank her for that. Now I hope I can do the same for my future daughters in law. Raise men who cherish and respect their wives, who see in them as partners and not as a responsibility or a nice, good looking girl to show off.  Men who value family more than money, nice vacations or material stuff.
He is not perfect though.  But nobody is after all… And yes! We do have arguments, but we talk through them and solve problems as a couple should do…  And even when we are having one of those moments in which we are truly mad we still talk to each other and say I love you. Because it is the situation, not the person, what got us upset in the first place.
Sometimes we get the dirty looks while walking together … Sometimes it’s a look for me… Usually another girl or woman like saying how can a woman like her be with such a handsome guy?.. sometimes it is him… usually an old person like saying… what is this invader doing here and with one of our women?  We look past that and keep walking. Some people are nice to us, some of them are rude… Like that bus driver who did not want to finish his bus route just because he did not like us together in his bus.  Anyways, every time this happens we hold hands, we keep walking and standing tall… Because there will be always someone who does not like to see us together, someone who will criticize… someone who will try hard to break us apart for whatever reason.
In a few words I can say: It is wonderful to live with him, not because he is from the States but because of the great man he is!!!And that my friends sums it all up!!